Some Random Girl
by Patches
Summary: A satire of selfinsertion fanfiction, written completely on a whim so don't take it too seriously. Also contains Of the Casual Girl, which is this same story, just translated into Italian and back via an electronic translator.
1. Some Random Girl

Some Random Girl  


She sat in the cafe, casually sipping a glass of water. She didn't look like much. Just your average, everyday, ordinary, plain, run-of-the-mill, unnotable, person of no consequence. Perhaps that's what she appeared to be, but in reality, she might possibly be the greatest power in the universe. Maybe. 

Suddenly, she found herself transported to an unknown land. No one is quite sure how or why this happened, but strangely enough, it did. The girl looked around and noted that she was in the middle of a large field, with not a soul in sight. 

"Oooo-kay...." she ventured. Being randomly thrown into an unknown world was definitely not something she was expecting, to say the least. 

Suddenly, a young man came running up to her, although there had been no indication of his presence before. Needless to say, the girl was startled once again. 

"You!" said the boy. "I saw you appear here, and was wondering who you were! I am Van Fanel, King of Fanelia!" he said enthusiastically. 

The girl hesitated, not really knowing whether she should blindly give her name to some stranger who thought he was a king. But, seeing as she seemed to have no other options, she replied, "I'm Patches." She then paused to reflect that she had a rather stupid name, that bore an uncanny resemblance to the writer of this. 

Van went wide-eyed. "Patches?! You don't mean the Legendary Patches, do you? The great, omnipotent being who can do anything?!" he said redundantly. 

"I... don't think so..." Patches replied. "I'm just some random girl." 

"Nonsense!" cried Van. "If you are truly the Patches of legend, then we are destined to be together!" He ran towards her, arms outstretched. 

"Okay, you are REALLY, starting to freak me out," Patches said, as she backed away, then made a mad dash for the forest. 

Behind her, Van was yelling, "Where are you going, o Great One? I LOVE YOU!!" 

* * *

Patches made it safely into the forest and stopped to catch her breath. Her stamina wasn't what it used to be. Ah, heck, she was eternally out of shape. Just as she was able to breathe normally again, a man with purple hair, closed eyes, a staff, and a black cape approached her. 

"By L-sama, you are the Mazoku Overlord, Patches, are you not?" 

"No, I'm not," Patches stated flatly. 

"How can you say that?" he said, getting to his knees. "I, Xellos Metallium, bow before your greatness." 

Patches gave him a flat look, then snuck away. How she was able to sneak away is a great mystery of the universe. She wondered to herself why people were assuming her to be someone of great importance. She sure didn't think she was. Heck, she was just some random girl.

* * *

Shortly thereafter, she came upon a rocky field. Patches found it odd for the terrain to change this drastically so often, but decided to let it pass. 

Letting that pass, however, was a lot easier than letting the massive ball of energy headed her way do the same. She dove to the ground and got rather singed as the ball just missed her head. She looked up to where the blast had come from, and noticed someone floating in the air. While her mind reeled with the physical impossibility of such a thing, the man in the sky noticed her and gasped. 

"You're...!" he began. 

"I AM NOT!!" Patches yelled before he could finish. "I'm not some god, demon lord, or destined love. Sorry, but I'm just some random girl!" 

The man floated down to her. He was wearing a blue spandex suit and white armor, and had black hair that seemed to defy gravity. "What are you talking about?" he said. "Why would I think you were any of that crap?" 

Patches sighed in relief. Finally, a guy with some sense. But, then why had he taken note of her...? 

She couldn't finish that thought as she was pulled into a tight embrace. The guy was inhumanly strong, and his armor was not exactly the softest thing to be crushed against. "Ow..." was all she could manage to get out. 

"At long last..." the man whimpered. "My long-lost sister, Princess of Vegetasei, has returned to me." 

Patches choked. Maybe because he just proved he was indeed another idiot. Maybe because she had no clue what he was talking about. Maybe it was because she couldn't breathe. She smacked at his arms, trying to get him to let go. He finally complied and looked her straight in the eyes. 

"It's been so long, Patches. Where have you been?" he asked. 

"At... school...?" she ventured. Then she shook her head and glared at him. "Okay, look, why the heck do you think I'm your sister? We don't look anything alike! Look, I can't be your sister, a demon lord, a god, and someone else's destined love, or else someone's got a REALLY messed-up family." 

"But you're--" "JUST SOME RANDOM GIRL!!" With that, she ran off again. This much exercise all at once and out of the blue was really going to hurt in the morning. 

* * *

Shortly thereafter, she suddenly came upon a city. It appeared to be an ancient Chinese city, actually. Odd. The first two people she met appeared to come right out of a European fantasy, and that spike-haired guy didn't even seem human. But a city had a lot of people, and the more people she met, the more people would call her something she wasn't. 

It was not to be, however. From behind her, a voice, distinctly male (gods, weren't there any GIRLS in this world?!), asked, "Excuse me, are you--" 

"NO!" she said, much more forcefully than she would have under any other circumstance. 

"... lost?" he finished cautiously. 

"No, I am JUST some RAND--, oh... Well, actually, yes, I am lost," she admitted. Maybe, just maybe, this guy could help her. "Where exactly am I?" 

"You are in the kingdom of Konan," he explained. "I am the emperor of this country, and you may call me Hotohori." 

Patches eyed him dubiously. "You don't want to make me your empress, do you?" 

"It's a possible afterthought," he said, as Patches groaned. "But you see, you are the Patches no Miko, and you have come to bring good fortune to this land." 

He could barely even finish the sentence before Patches had fled once again. 

* * *

Patches stumbled along, clutching her side, which had started to cramp up from all the running. It was times like this she wished she exercised more (although she couldn't recall ever having any other "times like this"). She ended up at the end of a dock in a (modern) city. She had no recollection of entering a city, but that was the least of her worries. 

She sat down at the end of the dock and looked up at the moon. She was then aware of someone sitting next to her. Great, who was it this time? 

"I wonder how long I'll be able to see the moon like this?" said the boy, wistfully. He was dressed in all black, and had a long, brown, braided ponytail. He looked over at Patches. "Glad you finally decided to join us, 'Patches'." He said her name as though it were a code name or something. 

Patches sighed. "So what am I supposed to be this time?" 

"Don't you remember, silly?" asked the boy. "You're my partner. Your code name is Patches, which means 'infinity' in some made-up language. You pilot the Gundam Patches. You have the same name as the Gundam to confuse our enemies." 

Patches pulled out a post-it note, wrote something on it, and stuck it to Duo's head (hey, he's suddenly got a name!). While Duo was busy fumbling with the sticky yellow paper, Patches had wandered off again. 

The note read: "I'm just some random girl." 

* * *

Irritated, confused, hungry, and at a loss for thought, Patches stumbled aimlessly. Eventually, she ended up in a gray, swirling mass. This was definitely something different. Perhaps it was a way out! 

Of course, such was never the case, as the figure of a person appeared out of the mist. He looked about ready to say something, but Patches spoke first. 

"Before you say ANYTHING, I am NOT your true love, master, sister, priestess, empress, god, partner, or savior. I am JUST SOME RANDOM GIRL!" she proclaimed, breathing heavily. 

"I figured that," said the man. "I'm just some random guy. Actually, I work on fanfiction.net, and we've been having some... technical difficulties. Apparently, you were sucked into the website, and took on the roles of many self-insertion characters." 

"But I wasn't anywhere near my computer when this happened," Patches explained. "And why me, of all people?" 

The guy shrugged. "Hey, don't ask me. The glitch was random, and you were just some random girl." 

"As I've said from the start..." Patches muttered. 

"Anyway," the guy continued, "we did a reboot, and everything should be back to normal now. So, if you'll just follow me." 

Patches gratefully did what she was told and headed towards the swirling mist. This adventure was something she hoped she'd never have to relive. Real life was hectic enough. 

"You know..." said the guy, as they made their way across the barrier, "Maybe there WAS something special about you that the computer saw fit to send you there..." 

Patches glared at him. "Don't... even... start..." 

She was, and always would be, some random girl.


	2. Of the Casual Girl

Here's another take on "Some Random Girl". I happened upon elingo.com, a website that will translate text to and from other languages. I decided to have some fun and sent this fic through it, translated it into Italian (I would have done Japanese, but the English I got back was half computer babble), then back again. And what did I end up with? Well, incoherent English, for one thing. But it makes the story all the more amusing. This is exactly what the translator spit back at me, save for some formatting that I did. And somehow, my name had become "Pezze" in Italian, which, for some reason, came back as "Rolls" in English. In any case, read the merry mayhem that ensues when a computer tries to make sense of this story.

* * *

Of the Casual Girl (Della Ragazza Casuale)

You sat in the coffee, while casually sipping a glass of water. You not it seemed a lot. Every day, only Your average to the order of the day, plain, races - of - the - mill, unnotable her person of no consequence. Perhaps that is that that her it seemed to be, but in reality, possibly she would be the greater power of the universe. Perhaps.

Suddenly, she was found transported to an unknown earth. Nobody is rather sure as or because this happened, but oddly enough, it did. The girl looked around and famous that she was in the media of a great field, with not a soul in sight.

"Oooo - the kay.... " she was risked. Being casually thrown in an unknown world it was not definitely anything that she was waiting himself/herself/itself, to say the least one.

Suddenly, a youth came racing above to her, even if there had been no first anybody indication of his presence. Needless to say, the girl once more you/he/she was frightened.

"You!" says the boy. "Me I saw her appear here, and was marveling himself/herself/itself you are who! Me be Van Fanel, King of Fanelia!" he said enthusiastically.

The girl hesitated, while really knowing not if she should blindly give his name to of the extraneous one that he/she thought him was a king. But, seeing how she seemed to have any other choices, she responded, "I am Rolls". You made then a pause reflect that she had a rather stupid name, that hole a similarity mysterious to the writer of this.

Van went wide - it looked. "Rolls?! He/she doesn't want to say the Legendary Rolls, does it do? The great one, to be almighty that can do any thing?!" he said redundantly.

"Me... you think of no..." Rolls responded. "I am only some girl" casual.

"Nonsense!" Van cries. "If You really it is the Rolls of legend, then we are destined for being together!" Him raced verse her, arms stretched. 

"Correct, Really you are, while starting to excite out me," it said Rolls, as she demoted, then it constituted a hyphen become rabid the forest. (_Note: In case that didn't make a lick of sense, "rabid hyphen" is the computer's translation of "mad dash" ^_^*_)

Behind her, Van was shouting, "Where you/he/she is going, or the Great one? I LOVE HIM!" 

* * *

Rolls did him/it in safe in the forest and they stopped to take his breath. Its ability of resistance was not that that was. Ah, heck, she was out of form eternally. In the moment in which she was able normally to breathe again, a man with you redden hair, closed eyes, a personnel and a black head him they approached to her.

"Of L - the sama, You the supreme Lord is of Mazoku, are Rolls, not?" 

"No, I am not," Rolls he/she affirmed flatly.

"As you/he/she can say that?" he said, while reaching his knees. "Me, Xellos Metallium I arch first Your greatness".

Rolls gave to him a flat glance, then the snuck street. As she was able to crawl away is a great mystery of the universe. You him it marveled to her because people being supposing her/it for being someone of the great importance. You sure not you think her it was. Heck, she was only some casual girl.

* * *

Shortly since then in then, she came on a field rocky. Rolls found him/it odd for the ground to change so often drastically this, but definite of to allow him to pass.

Behavior that passage was a lot however, easier than to make the thick ball of energy led his way makes same. You were plunged to the terrestrial and you/he/she was singed rather as the ball as soon as him the head is failed. You looked above to from where the had come hit of wind, and someone noticed being floating in the air. While his reeled of the mind with the physicist the impossibility of such thing, the men in the sky noticed her/it and they gasped. 

"You are...!" he started. 

"ME NOT BE!!" Rolls shouted before he could end. "I am not of the god, gentleman of demon or I destined love. Sorry, but I am only some casual girl!"

Him men were floating in down to her. He was bringing a blue spandex is adapted and white armor, and it had hair black that are seemed to challenge gravity. "Thing is speaking around?" him I dictate. "Because I would think that You some of that crap" it was?

Sighed of the rolls in relief. Finally, a boy with some sense. But, then because you/he/she had taken note of her...?

You could not end that thought as her it was thrown in a narrow embrace. The boy was inhumanly strongly, and its armor precisely was not the thing more soft to be crushed against. " Ow..." it was all her you/he/she could succeed in going out. 

"For a long time I complete..." the men they whimpered. " My long - lost sister, Princess of Vegetasei is returned to me". 

Rolls obstructed. Perhaps because him as soon as you/he/she has tried him it was indeed another idiot. Perhaps because she didn't have sign that of which he was speaking. Perhaps it was because her not to breathe. You he/she slapped to his arms, while trying to find him/it to leave goes. He finally consented and right seemed to her/it in him eyes.

"Rolls you/he/she has been so long. Where has you/he/she been?" him churches.

"To... the school...?" she was risked. Then her him shaken off head and it flashed to him. "Correct, you look, because the heck he/she thinks that me Your sister is? We don't look likewise nothing! You look, I cannot be His/her sister, a gentleman of demon, a god and someone the other destined love, otherwise someone got a It really dirtied - on family".

"But you are --"

"Only Some Casual Girl!!" With that, she escaped of new. This a lot of exercise was once for everything in and unexpectedly really to hurt the morning.

* * *

You came since then shortly suddenly in then, on a city. It seemed to be a Chinese and ancient city, really. Odd. The first two people that she has met appeared to go out right of an European imagination, and that aims - boy of haired didn't also seem human. But a city had a lot of people and the more people that she has met, the more people would call his anything that she was not.

It had to not to be, however. From behind her, a voice, separately the male (of the, were not there Girls in this world?!), churches, "Me excuse, is -- "

"No! she said, very more strongly that she would have some other circumstance under.

"... lost?" he cautiously ended. 

"No, I am Alone some CASU --, oh... Well, indeed, yes, I am lost, " she admitted. This boy could perhaps help only her, perhaps. "Where am I/you/they precisely?" 

"You are in the kingdom of Konan," he explained. "I am the emperor of this country, and you can call Hotohori".

Rolls him they equivocally looked. "He/she doesn't want to manufacture her/it to me Does his/her empress, do?"

"It is a possible reflection," him it said, as it groaned Rolls. " But you see, you are the Rolls any Miko, and you have come to bring good luck to this earth". He could end as soon as also the sentence before Rolls once more you/he/she was run away.

* * *

Rolls stumbled long, while grabbing its side what you/he/she had started to make to come above the cramps to from all him in march. It was times as this that she has desired that her it practiced more (even if her to never recall having some others" times as this"). you ended at the end of a basin in a (modern) the city. You didn't have anybody memory of to enter a city, but that was the least one of his worries.

You were sat at the end of the basin and it looked above to the moon. You were then aware of someone to sit following to her. Great that was this time?

"I marvel how much time I will be able of to see the moon like this?" says the boy, anxiously. He was dressed in the whole black, and it had a long, makes brown, tail of horse woven. He looked above at Rolls. "Finally you cheer you decided to connect to us, Rolls". He said his name as if I/you/he/she were a name of code or anything.

Sighed of the rolls. "Therefore thing I/you/they are supposed this time to be?"

"Doesn't he/she remember, foolish?" asked the boy. "You are my partner. Your name of code is Rolls that he/she wants to tell 'infinity' some facts - on language. You pilot the Gundam Patches. You have the same name as the Gundam to confuse our enemies".

Rolls extracted a place - it the note, anything wrote on him, and if it hammered him/it to the head of Duet (hey, he is it suddenly found a name!). While Duet being fumbling busy with the sticky yellow paper, Rolls you/he/she had wandered again street.

The note read: "I am only some casual girl."

* * *

Irritated, confused, hungry, and to a loss for thought, Rolls it stumbled aimlessly. She eventually, ended in a grey, while mass whirling. This was definitely anything different. Perhaps was an exit! 

Clearly, such it was not never the case as the figure of a person appeared out of the fog. He almost seemed ready to say anything but Rolls first he/she spoke.

"Before what you say anything, I am not Your truth love, master, sister, priestess, empress, god, partner or Savior. I am Only Some Casual Girl!" she proclaimed, while heavily breathing. 

"I showed up that," says the man. "I am alone some casual boy. Really, I work on fanfiction.net and us we are having of it... technical difficulty. Apparently, You was sucked in the website, and it assumed the roles of many same - characters of insertion."

"But I was not everywhere near my computer when this happened, " Rolls he/she explained. " And why me, of all the people?"

The boy the shrugged. " Hey, doesn't ask me. The dysfunction was casual, and you are only some casual girl."

"As me I have said from the beginning..." Rolls they mumbled.

"In every way," the boy continued," us we did a reboot and everything you/he/she should now return to normal. Then, if you will follow me as soon as".

Rolls they did with gratitude what she was said and it led toward the fog that whirls. This adventure was some thing that she has hoped for her doesn't have to ever relive. The true one life was ethical enough.

"You know..." says the boy, as they made their way through the barrier, there It was "Perhaps anything special around You that the computer saw adaptation to send there her..."

Rolls they flashed to him. "Not face... also... you start..."

You it was, and it would be always, of the casual girl.


End file.
